Advice to the 18 Year Old Me

If I could sit down with the younger version of myself, I wonder what I would say.

Would I tell him everything that's coming?

Probably not.

I'm not sure he'd believe me anyway.

I think I'd just sit with him for a while.

And then I'd probably say something like this:

You Don't Have to Have It All Figured Out

I know you feel like you should know what you're doing by now. You don't.

And that's okay.

You're going to spend a lot of years thinking everyone else has life figured out while you're still trying to find your way.

They don't.

Most people are just better at pretending.

Stop comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter twenty.

Your life isn't late. It's just yours.

Don't Let Your Worst Moments Become Your Identity

You're going to make mistakes.

Some of them will embarrass you. Some will hurt other people. Some you'll wish you could go back and undo.

You can't.

But listen to me:

You are not your worst decision.

Take responsibility. Apologize when you need to. Learn from it. Change.

But don't spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for something God has already taught you to surrender.

Your past can be part of your story without becoming the author of it.

Stop Trying to Be What Everyone Wants You to Be

You're going to spend years learning this one.

Some people will like you more when you agree with them. Some will like you less when you ask questions. Some will only accept you as long as you stay within the version of you they're comfortable with.

Don't become someone else just to keep people around.

Be kind.

Be humble.

Listen.

Admit when you're wrong.

But don't trade your convictions for acceptance.

There will come a point when you'll realize that being authentic is far more peaceful than constantly managing everyone's perception of you.

Your Career Isn't Your Identity

You will have jobs you love.

Jobs you don't.

You'll have seasons where you feel successful and seasons where you wonder what you're doing with your life.

You'll eventually realize that titles don't make you valuable.

Neither does a paycheck.

Neither does a position.

Neither does what people think about you.

Work hard. Be excellent. Serve people well.

But don't build your entire identity around something that can disappear tomorrow.

You'll Learn That God Doesn't Waste Anything

Some of the things you're going to experience will make absolutely no sense while you're going through them.

You'll wonder why God allowed certain things. You'll wonder why certain doors closed. You'll wonder why some prayers weren't answered the way you wanted.

Years later, you'll look back and see things you couldn't see at the time.

You'll see how God used pain to develop compassion.

Failure to develop humility.

Loss to develop gratitude.

Hard seasons to develop endurance.

You'll discover that the valley wasn't wasted.

God was doing something in you that you couldn't see yet.

You'll Be Older Than You Thought When Some Dreams Happen

This one is important.

Stop believing there's an expiration date on your dreams.

You're going to get your bachelor's degree at 41.

You're going to finish your master's degree at 43 and start a business in that same year.

And somehow, you're going to realize that you're not behind.

You were never behind. You were just walking a different road.

Don't let somebody else's timeline convince you that God has forgotten yours.

It's never too late to learn. It's never too late to start over. It's never too late to become who you're supposed to become.

Take Care of Your Heart

You're going to become good at taking care of other people.

You'll counsel people. You'll encourage people. You'll listen to people's stories. You'll spend time with people who are hurting. You'll become the person others come to when they need someone to listen.

But don't forget that you need someone to listen to you too.

You don't always have to be the strong one. You don't always have to have the answer. You don't always have to carry everything yourself.

Let people love you. Let people help you. Let God meet you in the places where you're not okay.

A Final Thought

If I could go back and tell that younger version of myself one last thing, it would probably be this:

You're going to lose some things. You're going to lose people. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to experience disappointment. You're going to have seasons where you question everything.

But you're also going to experience grace you didn't deserve.

You're going to meet people who change your life. You're going to discover gifts you didn't know you had. You're going to find purpose in places you never expected. You're going to become someone you never imagined you could be.

So stop being so afraid of getting it wrong. 

Stop believing you're running out of time. 

Stop trying to prove your worth.

Trust God. Do the next right thing. Love people well. Stay teachable.

And when life takes you somewhere you didn't expect to go, remember that God has never needed you to understand the entire journey.

He just needs you to keep walking.

I'm proud of you, kid.

You didn't get here the way you thought you would.

But you're going to be okay.